Relationship Issue 1.0- Is It Ok To Love Two Guys ?
Question:
A guy I've liked for a long time
finally asked me out, and I was really jazzed about it. We'd been dating
a few weeks when I met another really cute guy who likes me. Now I like
two guys at the same time. I feel really bad about this. Can you give
me some advice?
Answer:
Do you really have to choose right
now? When you start thinking about marriage, you'll want to build a
relationship that stresses faithfulness and commitment. But right now,
you are dating casually, so you don't need to worry about those things
yet. Unless you're positive one of these guys is the man you want to
marry someday, there's no reason for you to spend time with one and not
the other.
I've noticed that a lot of teenagers overemphasize
going out with just one person at a time, where they're not allowed to
date, or even talk to, another member of the opposite sex. To do so
would be "cheating" on their boyfriend or girlfriend. What's ironic is
that these intensely "monogamous" relationships rarely last long.
So instead of trying to pick one guy, focus on getting
to know both of them. Let them know you're not interested in an
exclusive relationship, but that you'd like to spend time with each of
them, just developing a friendship.
As you learn more about each guy, you might discover
you're more interested in one of them. And if you decide you want to get
a little more serious with that guy, you may gain a new friend in the
other.
I don't recommend you get into a physical relationship
with either guy. Holding hands and hugging is alright, but kissing will
just confuse things.
To put it in perspective, you have a problem that a
lot of people would love to have. Two boys that you like, like you.
Whomever you choose, you can hardly lose. You'll be learning and growing
by relating to people you care about. Take your time and enjoy getting
to know these guys.